Life under a feminist mother, by her daughter

The full version can be found at the source site. I will post a shorter version here.

Daily Mail

I love the way his head nestles in the crook of my neck. I love the way his face falls into a mask of eager concentration when I help him learn the alphabet. But most of all, I simply love hearing his little voice calling: ‘Mummy, Mummy.’

It reminds me of just how blessed I am. The truth is that I very nearly missed out on becoming a mother  –  thanks to being brought up by a rabid feminist who thought motherhood was about the worst thing that could happen to a woman.

You see, my mum taught me that children enslave women. I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck, and the idea that motherhood can make you blissfully happy is a complete fairytale.

In fact, having a child has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Far from ‘enslaving’ me, three-and-a-half-year-old Tenzin has opened my world. My only regret is that I discovered the joys of motherhood so late  –  I have been trying for a second child for two years, but so far with no luck.

I was raised to believe that women need men like a fish needs a bicycle. But I strongly feel children need two parents and the thought of raising Tenzin without my partner, Glen, 52, would be terrifying.

As the child of divorced parents, I know only too well the painful consequences of being brought up in those circumstances. Feminism has much to answer for denigrating men and encouraging women to seek independence whatever the cost to their families.

My mother’s feminist principles coloured every aspect of my life. As a little girl, I wasn’t even allowed to play with dolls or stuffed toys in case they brought out a maternal instinct. It was drummed into me that being a mother, raising children and running a home were a form of slavery. Having a career, travelling the world and being independent were what really mattered according to her.

I love my mother very much, but I haven’t seen her or spoken to her since I became pregnant. She has never seen my son  –  her only grandchild. My crime? Daring to question her ideology.

Well, so be it. My mother may be revered by women around the world  –  goodness knows, many even have shrines to her. But I honestly believe it’s time to puncture the myth and to reveal what life was really like to grow up as a child of the feminist revolution.

My parents met and fell in love in Mississippi during the civil rights movement. Dad [Mel Leventhal], was the brilliant lawyer son of a Jewish family who had fled the Holocaust. Mum was the impoverished eighth child of sharecroppers from Georgia. When they married in 1967, inter-racial weddings were still illegal in some states.

My early childhood was very happy although my parents were terribly busy, encouraging me to grow up fast. I was only one when I was sent off to nursery school. I’m told they even made me walk down the street to the school.

Alice Walker believed so strongly that children enslaved their mothers she disowned her own daughter

When I was eight, my parents divorced. From then on I was shuttled between two worlds  –  my father’s very conservative, traditional, wealthy, white suburban community in New York, and my mother’s avant garde multi-racial community in California. I spent two years with each parent  –  a bizarre way of doing things.

Ironically, my mother regards herself as a hugely maternal woman. Believing that women are suppressed, she has campaigned for their rights around the world and set up organisations to aid women abandoned in Africa  –  offering herself up as a mother figure.

But, while she has taken care of daughters all over the world and is hugely revered for her public work and service, my childhood tells a very different story. I came very low down in her priorities  –  after work, political integrity, self-fulfilment, friendships, spiritual life, fame and travel.

My mother would always do what she wanted  –  for example taking off to Greece for two months in the summer, leaving me with relatives when I was a teenager. Is that independent, or just plain selfish?

I was 16 when I found a now-famous poem she wrote comparing me to various calamities that struck and impeded the lives of other women writers. Virginia Woolf was mentally ill and the Brontes died prematurely. My mother had me  –  a ‘delightful distraction’, but a calamity nevertheless. I found that a huge shock and very upsetting.

According to the strident feminist ideology of the Seventies, women were sisters first, and my mother chose to see me as a sister rather than a daughter. From the age of 13, I spent days at a time alone while my mother retreated to her writing studio  –  some 100 miles away. I was left with money to buy my own meals and lived on a diet of fast food.

What about the children?

The ease with which people can get divorced these days doesn’t take into account the toll on children. That’s all part of the unfinished business of feminism.

Then there is the issue of not having children. Even now, I meet women in their 30s who are ambivalent about having a family. They say things like: ‘I’d like a child. If it happens, it happens.’ I tell them: ‘Go home and get on with it because your window of opportunity is very small.’ As I know only too well.

Then I meet women in their 40s who are devastated because they spent two decades working on a PhD or becoming a partner in a law firm, and they missed out on having a family. Thanks to the feminist movement, they discounted their biological clocks. They’ve missed the opportunity and they’re bereft.

Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women into childlessness. It is devastating.

But far from taking responsibility for any of this, the leaders of the women’s movement close ranks against anyone who dares to question them  –  as I have learned to my cost. I don’t want to hurt my mother, but I cannot stay silent. I believe feminism is an experiment, and all experiments need to be assessed on their results. Then, when you see huge mistakes have been paid, you need to make alterations.

I hope that my mother and I will be reconciled one day. Tenzin deserves to have a grandmother. But I am just so relieved that my viewpoint is no longer so utterly coloured by my mother’s.

I am my own woman and I have discovered what really matters  –  a happy family.

The full version can be read here.

Makes you wonder. Feminists speak of ‘freeing’ women from men but according to feminists, women should only be free to do what the feminists command. Not only does that sound like a form of totalitarianism, but it tends to result in women actually having less options than they had before feminism. The results of feminism are obvious; broken homes, constantly denigrated men (thus forcing men to reject such bitter women), sky rocketing abortion rates, women seeing their own positives as negatives (maternity) and more.

These are not hard to extend into modern society with a little thought. As an example;

Feral girls come from single mother homes (so do most criminals) > lack of education > alcohol abuse > teenage sex with random boys > more pregnancies > more abortions > more depression > more problems with self-image and self-worth > consumerism > denial of instincts/ joining the rat race > find men not really interested in such females > no children > more consumerism > death.

I really can’t see any benefit of feminism at all.

9 thoughts on “Life under a feminist mother, by her daughter

  1. “don’t know what’s worse, the NWO or the sheep that follow……”

    Baaaa definitely the sheep.

    As an adult you have the right to become a sheep, sad to say so many choose to become one.

    Number 2 (AMan2). There is no such place.

  2. Unfortunately HL most girls are too wrapped up in narcissism and/ or are now having their femininity crushed out of them by the rat race. My step mother was a feminist, probably still is. It can act like a cushion for one’s failure as a human being. Just blame men.

    I just don’t understand why people are so easily duped by ideologies and M.O.’s that are obviously destructive. I don’t know what’s worse, the NWO or the sheep that follow…

  3. Considering the source, this is THE most damning article I’ve ever read that indicts feminism and it’s fanatical ideology.

    One can read a hundred MRA blogs and write it off as a movement of desperate misogynists who can’t get laid…but this is the testimonial from a daughter indoctrinated from birth by a feminist icon!

    This article needs to be shown to every single young woman out there BEFORE they attend the indoctrination and re-education camps known as “college” as an antidote to the “women’s studies” garbage they will be exposed to.

  4. From what I know of Alice Walker, the complaints made by her daughter do not surprise me. Her writings are clear evidence that she has angst against men and unsuccessfully tried to pass them onto her daughter. The fact that Alice embraced feminism always made me suspicious. It is a good thing that Rebecca saw the light.

  5. Ideologies always seem to be created with the sole purpose of imposing the ideas of a minority on a majority.
    Feminism, Socialism, Communism and their associated Marxist Collectivist sub-groups (like environmentalism) all result in total state power, in theory and in reality.

    You get people with varying levels of understanding, choosing to follow them for their little reasons, but the goal is the same by those truly in charge.

    When you speak of ‘power differentials’ Thomas Matta I struggle to see that is wrong with it.

    Differences in power does not equate to injustice. One could argue a woman’s sexual power over men exceeds man’s power over women (whatever that is).

    The point people are making though, is that whatever the arrangements between men and women in the past, the fact is that it worked. The ‘difference’ enabled civilisation to form, the same way differences in potential create electric current. Enforcing equality could be similar to ‘equalising a current’ ie, turning off a light switch.

    Interesting in theory, but would result in the death of the species. Not quite so cool now.

    Another way of looking at it, is to say, what is equality? Who defines it, and what effect on the society would enforcing that arbitrary definition have?

    Humans are not all the same. They never will be. The point is to encourage people to work to their strengths, not force everyone into some theoretical homogeneous mass of dull, lifeless bipeds.

    For me, all of these ideologies come apart with even a half-arsed thought experiment. Probably why Marx never actually described what a communist society would be like. The only reason people in power subscribe to them is because it gives them the opportunity to grab MORE power.

  6. Power differentials?
    Choose either evolution or religion; either case power differential would be explained as part of nature. Only quack science would try to say this is social construct and here we have feminism.

    We can all agree that (sane) women in general are more nurturing towards children, what do men have over them? Men are assertive and protective by nature, and instead of honing this to be a more productive asset to society, feminism rather mindlessly turned it into something that should be shunned and made a power struggle were one shouldn’t exist.

    They have successfully made man’s own nature enemy of women, and with the same hand made women’s nurturing role/psyche an enemy to women. IDIOTS!

    I wrote this and now I think that I am not actually sure what you meant by power differentials? Do you imply within society at large or the family? Either case I still say it is nature, and the only way to change the balance is to enlarge government and make them more authoritarian which is what these socialist feminist want though some claim otherwise. And feminism by its very nature is socialist movement.

    cybro, let them die? Ha! even so called conservatives who say they aren’t feminist are feminist. Most likely “we” will die before they do. We live in an age of great wealth and knowledge but common idiocy rules.

  7. That chick is finding out what men have know for a long time. Try to question a feminists ideology and they turn on you with rage. What they can’t seem to wrap their minds around is that feminism is a culture of death. A movement that is killing itself through abortion and contraception. Don’t try telling them that though. Just let them die out.

  8. Very insightful! But I wonder if you’re throwing the proverbial “baby out with the bath water.” Anytime ordinary people take ideology and try to make it practical they come up with a kind of craziness that only human beings seem capable of. What I value in feminist theory is how power differentials exist in the family and for too long women had been on the short end of the stick. Men and children are blessings not milestones and in that case I am in full agreement. warmly!

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