Elizabeth: The Golden Age

I saw this on the side of a bus and thought I’d comment on it.

Apart from the fact that Clive Owen is in ANOTHER bloody movie lol, I would like to bring your attention to the text that reads:

WOMAN. WARRIOR. QUEEN.

Now I don’t know about you, but I would assume that Queen Elizabeth was 1. A Queen and, 2. A woman already. Also judging by her armour, she is probably on a battlefield (warrior.)

Why would you need to mention that again? Is this another pathetic girls-are-great spin by those in charge of funneling shit into the trough of ‘entertainment?’

How silly does this sound:

King Kong.

MALE. MONKEY. KING (of the jungle.)

In fact that is more relevant seeing as ‘King Kong’ doesn’t actually explain what it is.

Is this just more of this pathetic gyno-centric marketing crap? Am I the only one who thinks it is a desperate attempt at lifting the image of ‘woman?’

Seriously, how many woman these days do you think would say this:

“My loving people, we have been persuaded by some that are careful of our safety, to take heed how we commit ourselves to armed multitudes for fear of treachery. Let tyrants fear. I have always so behaved myself that, under God, I have placed my chief strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and goodwill of my subjects. And therefore I am come amongst you all, as you see at this time, not for my recreation and disport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live or die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, and for my people, my honor and my blood even in the dust. I know I have the body of a week and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a king of England too. And think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any Prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm!”

Indeed. Allow me to translate this great speech into modern-womanish, (or shall we call it Feminish? I mean, you’d have to be drunk to come out with half the shit they do.)

“My loving servants, we have been persuaded by some that are careful of my safety, to take heed how you commit yourselves to armed multitudes for fear of treachery. Let tyrants give us girls more rights, as we are oppressed. I have always so behaved myself that, under corporate advertising, I have placed my chief strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and goodwill of my sisters. And therefore I am come amongst you all, as you see at this time, for my recreation and disport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live on because us girls are more important than men; to lay down for myself, and for my kingdom, and for my servants, my reputation and your blood even in the dust. I know I have the body of a great, strong independent woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a king of England too. And think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any Prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm, and have me risk losing all the benefits conferred on the ladies to the evil patriarchy.”

Or something.

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2 thoughts on “Elizabeth: The Golden Age

  1. y’know, if men spent more money (something like 86% of all pointless spending is done by women) corporations would be interested in empowering you, too but as it stands it’s just a waste of time and effort… I mean if a company says they support breast cancer research every woman around is gonna be like “omigawd!!! I support that! Lemme shop there!!!” But if that same company said they supported prostate cancer research, not only is every man around gonna be like “heh, gross,” and keep on walking, all the women are gonna think it’s mysogynistic and not shop there either. Maybe if you took your spending power out of your woman’s pocket and out it back in yours where it belongs we’d be reading ads that say “300. Man. Spartan. King.” Just something to think about.

    A woman on your side 🙂

  2. Ah this is just a marketing ploy to try and appeal to the female audience.
    Most women don’t give a rats ass about History, Politics, or War.

    The media is just exploiting this girl-power crap to sell shit.
    I saw a commercial by Cadillac trying to sell women a car saying it will empower them.
    Actually, pretty much everything marketed towards women claims it will empower them.

    I guess if I bled out my crotch and was an emotional wreck, I’d want to buy shit to make me feel better about myself…

    Just a thought.

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