I visited this website recently for some research into an article I was writing. I was interested to know how these ‘charities’ market themselves to people.
These days I tend to view these organisations more like corporations. Nothing particularly noble about them. They exist, they get money, they need more victims so they can ask for more money, because dwindling victims means less money. Simple really.
Now you would think Women’s Aid would cater to women, fair enough, every bloody organisation in the country caters to the poor victimised little helpless things. It goes one better though, it’s tag line is ‘until women and children are safe’. You see, women and children are seen as one, inseparable unit, men are superfluous. Man is a evil brute lurking in the shadows outside of the house with the poor woman inside trying to protect HER child from HIM.
We all know the standard politically correct myth.
That tag line also, by exclusion, presents a subtle statement regarding men. Men don’t need to be made safe because obviously ‘they’re not in danger as they’re the ones committing all the ‘violence’.
Remember men and women are victims in equal amounts. Keep that in mind always. Because this site chooses to represent one half (or less) of the victims. Not only that, but it markets itself in a way which presumes men are very rarely victims.
Lets quickly look at the page titled ‘About Domestic Violence‘.
They call female victims of domestic violence ‘survivors’. They don’t call male victims anything because, well, they’re irrelevant. I could be wrong but the semantics of the word survivors in this context strikes me as trying to compare the suffering of the victims to the ‘survivors of World War 2, or some other atrocity.
They’ve got something called the Survivors Handbook. Go figure. It’s about painting a picture of extreme victimisation. Psychological manipulation if you will.
But that’s nothing new. The first thing I will do is look at the Women’s Aid definition of DV, as they are constantly referring to it when stating their huge quantitative statistics.
The page is called FAQS: What is domestic violence?
Remember, these are reasons they believe warrant a woman breaking up her relationship for.
The Government defines domestic violence as “Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.” This includes issues of concern to black and minority ethnic (BME) communities such as so called ‘honour killings’.
Why they had to put that last bit in there I don’t know. I thought the first part would have included everyone. But what do I know, I’m just a man, and logic is just patriarchal oppression.
There is a link referring to the causes of DV but it just goes back to the homepage. Competent I see.
These are all symptoms of DV now. That goes for men and women I assume as everyone is supposed to be treated equally in the eyes of the law. Think if any of these have happened to you, both men and women. Some are obviously domestic violence, like beating the shit out of your girlfriend (or boyfriend). Some are not quite so obvious.
Look at it here, I’ll give a summary below.
* Destructive criticism and verbal abuse: shouting/mocking/accusing/name calling/verbally threatening
* Pressure tactics: sulking, threatening to withhold money, disconnect the telephone, take the car away, commit suicide, take the children away, report you to welfare agencies unless you comply with his demands regarding bringing up the children, lying to your friends and family about you, telling you that you have no choice in any decisions.
* Disrespect: persistently putting you down in front of other people, not listening or responding when you talk, interrupting your telephone calls, taking money from your purse without asking, refusing to help with childcare or housework.
* Breaking trust: lying to you, withholding information from you, being jealous, having other relationships, breaking promises and shared agreements.
* Isolation: monitoring or blocking your telephone calls, telling you where you can and cannot go, preventing you from seeing friends and relatives.
* Harassment: following you, checking up on you, opening your mail, repeatedly checking to see who has telephoned you, embarrassing you in public.
* Threats: making angry gestures, using physical size to intimidate, shouting you down, destroying your possessions, breaking things, punching walls, wielding a knife or a gun, threatening to kill or harm you and the children.
* Sexual violence: using force, threats or intimidation to make you perform sexual acts, having sex with you when you don’t want to have sex, any degrading treatment based on your sexual orientation.
* Physical violence: punching, slapping, hitting, biting, pinching, kicking, pulling hair out, pushing, shoving, burning, strangling.
* Denial: saying the abuse doesn’t happen, saying you caused the abusive behaviour, being publicly gentle and patient, crying and begging for forgiveness, saying it will never happen again.
I think that list pretty much covers something in every relationship there has even been in the history of Mankind. That’s convenient for them though, they’ll never be running low on victims now will they?
Also, I can no longer commit suicide. Damn. I can’t raise my voice either. I can’t break my own plates if she’s there. I can’t avoid her phone calls. I must listen to every word she says. I can’t be jealous of anything she ever does. What’s the difference between push and shove? I can’t check up on her either. So when I called her today to see how she is and I said ‘what’s up babe what are you up to?’ I was being violent was I? I also can’t disagree with her claims of abuse. Whether it happened or not is irrelevant.
This cannot be serious. Some of the items in this list make you think this site is a parody. But it isn’t. Luckily the country’s women don’t all subscribe to this definition. But no wonder this bollocks charity can come up with stats like ‘1 in 4 women experience DV’ and other crap.
Judging by the above definition, I’d say almost everyone in the country is ‘surviving’ the horrors of ‘domestic violence’. Break out the Survivors Handbook! Give us more funding!
This is a classic case of moving the goalposts. They are continually redefining DV in order to try and incriminate ever increasing numbers.
They also try to ally themselves with child abuse, conveniently avoiding the fact that the majority of that seems to be done by women. But that’s for another article.
I’m tired and I need sleep.
*Yes I did that deliberately.